*MEIDA ALERT*

Ladies & Gentlemem, There ARE, in fact, Cute, Funny, Nice guys in the world today. So I went out last night with a friend I hadn't seen in years! We actually went to high school together in our little, small town. He had graduated a few years ahead of me (three to be exact). I was in the same jr. high and high school with his sister, so there's a lot of of history there.

Nice guy, good to see him.

So he picked me up and we met up with a bunch of his friends at Russia House.

His friends were all sitting at the bar and they all turned around and said hello when we got there. So I went down the line being intoduced and saying 'hello' and then there...he...was. Tall, built, big smile in designer denim and a baby blue shirt that matched his big, baby blue eyes. Seriously, folks, those eyes were hypnotic and I think it's a minacle that I remembered my name while staring into them. So intro, how do you know so-and-so...blah blah blah. All of his friends were very nice. The other guys were the not the try to impress you with bullshit all night long type guys- but nice, funny guys.

The girls that were there were also lovely - a tad more innocent, and less sarcastic than my friends, but nice just the same. And and from there went across the stree to to Bucca Di Beppo, an absolutely fabulous family style italian restaurant, where I sat across from Blue Eyes.

We talked and chatted ALL NIGHT LONG. About history, relationships, jobs, etc. It was fantastic. I know you're wondering though...what's 'the catch'? Well my friends, you are not going to BELIEVE this, so keep reading. So we're chatting about jobs, plans, personal goals etc. (deep conversations for three hours of knowing each other, i know).

And then it comes out "i'm looking forward to working at the job i have over the next 6 months because I'M ENTERING THE SEMINARY IN THE SPRING" So yes, there are nice, sweet, beautiful, decent, funny guys in the world.....and they're either married..or Priests!!

You just can't make this stuff up.

*sigh*

And there he was – JFK Jr. meets Brad Pitt with a MBA, a BA in classic cultures and appreciation for good beer, Broadway musicals, and busty redheads. All wrapped up in a yummy, Armani-clad shell. As if that weren’t enough – they were hitting it off! There was the witty banter, paired with mutual love of obscure indy rock bands, and a side order of delicious of flirtation. Sadly, as we are taught from a very young age…if it seems too good to be true (say it with me now…)

IT PROB - A - BLY IS

Enter “The Catch” (stage left) There’s always ‘the catch.’ Keep in mind, dear reader, we are speaking of ‘THÈ Catch” as opposed to ‘?’ Catch. The Catch is the fine print of relationships, if you will. We are all familiar with the fine print concept yes?

I lost 300 lbs eating chocolate! FP: Results not typical.

This pill will cure your migraines forever! FP: Side effects include temporary loss of eyesight, infertility, certain types of cancer, tremors, slurred speech and an outbreak of black plague

30-day money back guarantee! FP: refund extended only if, the product arrived in pieces, we feel like giving you your money back, your eyes are green, or your name is Frank

And whether or not we choose to look for the fine print is our own fault. The same is true with relationships and they are dealt with in much the same way; by posing the question: do the benefits of the product outweigh the side effects? We are not talking about the infamous pros and cons list here, people, but ‘the catch’ – a piece of information that once uttered it becomes the proverbial pink elephant in the room and once thrown out there, you either have to change rooms or break out the peanuts, cuz it ‘aint goin’ away. And so we arrive at the formal definition as coined by yours truly:

The Catch: The ‘fine print’ of relationships. The one piece of negative, personal information one must weigh against the known positive information when deciding whether or not to pursue long-term romantic involvement. Known examples include: divorced, still not over an ex, a virgin, heavily medicated, a Notre Dame fan

I will not point to the particular 'catch' dealt with in this case (it's among the examples). Sufficeit to say...Mr. Armani's much adored attributes did NOT win out in the end.

If we want to take this a step further (and being the overachiever that I am you KNOW I do), what then is the difference between ‘the catch’ and ‘a deal breaker’? Well, ladies and gentlemen, the difference is clearly one of degree and I offer yet another definition:

The Deal Breaker: A deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess. Known examples include: marital status, children, a combination of married AND children, a criminal record, a Ohio State fan

I have found that with age (as is true with so many things), some deal breakers have been downgraded to ‘catches’ and some ‘catches’ are no longer labeled as such, but upgrades and new list additions will enevitably fill their spaces.

A recent, personal example would be ‘divorced’ is apparently no longer a complete deal breaker for me (who knew?) but is definitely still a ‘catch’ and thus piece of information that must be evaluated and considered seriously in any relationship application that may be submitted. Thus yet another contributing factor to the ever subjective and dynamic romantic dimension.

*Sigh

Frankly,