I was out this weekend and ran into a couple of people that I had met at the military academy happy hour with WPB a couple of weeks ago.

She’s a nurse on Capitol Hill, (we will refer to her as RN) engaged, and utterly fabulous – I felt bad that I had not emailed her. So I’m walking past their table, this girl grabs my arm and says “it’s you!”. (took me a minute) “it’s YOU!” (keep in mind we’re both thoroughly plastered at this point so our little reunion was uber-jovial).

After introductions to sets of friends she and her fiancé ask, is WPB with you? Oh…no….that’s sooo over (sounding much more upbeat about it than I actually was).

“Oh good! Because we can’t stand him!? “ “What? I thought ya’ll were friends!” “Hell, no! We were there because of [insert the name of WPB’s friend]. We were wondering how the hell that moron got a fabulous girl like you!”

[Side note: I have actually shown a great deal of self restraint in not blogging much about WPB – for the simple fact that apparently he is the subject of more than one blog in the DC area, and so I have chosen not to give him the sick satisfaction…until now apparently]

“Well, thanks…” Feeling very validated and fabulous, I took a sip of my Vodka Gimlet “You didn’t really have a threesome that night, did you?” Choking on the Vodka Gimlet “Excuse me”? “He told us that he was going to try to have a threesome with you and your friend” “HE WHAT?? NO – NO – NO we ABSOLUTELY did Not” (we had a lovely two-some for about 14 hours, I thought to myself. Which made me even MORE mad that I had gone home with this man after he had said this awful thing of which I was unaware). Cue stereotypical redheaded temper

So – I’m pretty sure my face matched my hair at this point. I was livid. Not only for the fact that he thought I would do this but because it was so disrespectful to ME in front of relative strangers! That’s just not cool. I collected myself said “excuse me” and sent three text messages in rapid succession to the WPB, who’s number was STILL in my phone.

Txt 1: U r an ass – can’t tell you how much

Txt 2: Where do you get off thinking you can treat women this way??

Txt 3: I hope you catch something contagious and itchy!!

Granted, not the most eloquent set of messages, but it WAS 2 a.m. and I was quite drunk. The next morning I woke up, rather opened my eyes and moaned not only because of my pounding headache, but I remembered, uugghhh I can’t BELIEVE I Texted him. Can’t BELIEVE I let him know that he got to me, affected me in any way I can’t BELIVE I’m ending our communication sounding like the crazy, drunk girl (that perhaps I am) because you KNOW he’s never going to talk to me again. And I eventually blow it off because, who cares if I ever talk to him again?

So imagine my surprise when I received the following email from WPB this evening:

“..[I am] no good at making excuses, so I won't try. Not sure what you've heard, or where, or from who, but chances are some of it's true. Regardless, I owe you an apology. So for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I understand that you probably hate me though.”

Wow – gotta say that surprised me. So while, he is far from forgiven, and as good as our cough time together cough was…I would never consider having um...coffee ...with him again. But good for you, WPB for stepping up and apologizing. I appreciate and accept it.

At least this latest episode has helped me definitely give closure to the situation. Not that I’ve been pining away, but I wasn’t quite ready to end it when it did.

Can we please go back to an old and familiar subject - why men are idiots?

I recently attended a lovely alumni happy hour with a sometimes charming military academy graduate. The venue was a tad 'stuffy', very reminicent of the university club days and so I felt very comfortable. Everyone was lovely. Said military graduate (WPB) was attentive and fun, dispite the fact that I happend to be annoyed with him because of events which had transpired the previous evening But that's a whole other "men are idiots" entry.

I struck up a conversation with his friends as well as some random gentlemen at the bar. I hope they found me charming as I was doing my best to be so. While attempting to be engaging while not crowding my date, I spoke briefly with a gentleman (and i'm using the term as a complete assumption at this point). He was handsome, a tad older (i'm thinking late 30s?) and very complimentary, and of course married.

After touching on the subject of work, he asked for my card - a request and gesture not uncommon here in dc as evident in my 4X6 card littered dresser, a result of much time spent at various social, networking or charitable gatherings - and so I naturally obliged.

The weekend went on as planned...another blog subject...fast forward to Monday morning... I received a voicemail in my office from said older, handsome 'gentleman' requesting a return call. Not thinking anything of this except it was a tad odd, but naturally curious I returned the call.

Now, I must digress - and for those who know me at all, skip down: I have few things in life that REALLY truly annoy me: cruelty to puppies, being harrassed by foul smelling individuals for change, bad table manners...but the #1 source of irritation comes from being bothered at the office. Now, if you need me for something, need a question answered, want to confirm plans, etc. that is perfectly FINE. However, DO NOT call me at my place of business where I am inevitably busy, stressed out, putting out fires and dealing with incredibly stupid people, just to 'say hi'. 'Hi' can wait until 6 o'clock. Call me - fine BUT FOR GOODNESS SAKES PEOPLE - HAVE A REASON!!! I know i'm a wealth of useless, purposeless conversations (illistrated by my pages of blog-rantings) but NOT AT THE OFFICE. OH - and my cell numer is on my card, so clearly you have another option in your choice of contact method.

Ok - back to the phone call - I say very politely: "hi there! got your message, I'm returning your call - what can I do for you?"
"Did you think I would call"
"...um...I didn't think about it at all, actually" (a tad confused)
"Well I'm calling because I enjoyed meeting you and thought you were very sexy - you caught me eye right away"
"um...thank you?" (definitely confused...)
"And I wanted to know if I could take you out for dinner"
(pause) "Wait a minute.....aren't..you..married??"
"Well....yes" (DING)
"But I'm really unhappy in my marriage...but divorce isn't really an appealing option...(please insert sob story....)"
"Ok...and you didn't notice that I was there with someone??" (but we're talking about a guy who's romantic proposition includes adultery...so...maybe it was a dumb question)
"Well...I didn't know what the situation was"
(neither do I, buddy, but we should never just assume, should we??) "
"I feel like kind of a jerk now"
"WELL GOOD!"

 Maybe the Socratic method actually WAS a good idea - as I didn't have to say anything, let him draw his own conclusions. I don't know what disturbs me about this more, the fact that he thought this would be an appealing offer because he was so CLUELESS, or because it had been successful in the past. What self respecting woman would go out with a man who behaved in such a manner??

Really girls, have our standards sunk so low that we can't recognize a completely masoginistic, amoral, disrespectful, filandering moron when we hear one say "well, yes i'm married, divorce isn't an appealing, but you're sexy, so how bout it?"!? But then jerks come in all shapes and sizes and we can't always see them through our wine-hazed glances or hear them through the song lyrics they write about you. Maybe it's a good thing they call at work. After all....I'm already in bitch mode.

Frankly,