I think I’m just having a case of Monday BB (Bloggers-block) and I'm still trying to REMEMBER the weekend before I can decide what to WRITE about it!

However, there were some rumblings from up north - i.e. Canadian drama.

So the Canadian was scheduled to come down next month and take me to the wedding of a friend and an EX (nightmare, I know). I thought that since this the wedding of not only an ex, but an ex that cheated on me with the friend that he’s marrying (and I’m the maid of honor because I ‘introduced them’ , and also because I’m WAAAY too nice) that I needed to show up #1 looking UBER-hot and #2 with an even HOTTER date (think a tall (6’7), dark (parents are from South America) & handsome (JFK junior look-a-like) and did I mention BRILLIANT (a masters in IR from JHU and now top 10 in his law school class). A rational conclusion I believe. So Canadian was going to fly down, we were going to have a lovely weekend in a lovely hotel with lovely people etc (and might I add that he volunteered to go – I didn’t even ask. I think he was nervous that it’s on a military base and I cannot be held accountable for my actions when there are uniforms involved). You can tell where this is going....I know.

I stepped up the ‘nagging’ factor on Friday as he hadn’t gotten his plane ticket yet, and the wedding is 3 weeks away. Given his track record, while it IS improving he has NEVER been dependable. He’s had to work late, had friend 'emergencies', etc. and missed black tie events, concerts, parties, football games, you name it. Again, we’re working on this but the fact that he hadn’t made a monetary commitment to this weekend as yet had me a tad concerned.

So he called me on Saturday to say “don’t shoot me” and my stomach falls into my Nike’s. “what? ” “I might not be able to make it” “why? ” (sounding disappointed, unamused, short, and generally, displeased). Then he gives me the song and dance about how he has to be in court, do the lawyer thing, just scheduled, blah blah blah. But that he is filing for a continuance on Tuesday, the judge should rule then, there’s no reason NOT to give him the continuance and if he gets it he will book the fight that day.

Now I’m an understanding girl when it comes to relationships. I trust him that this is happening. I understand that it's his job. I know this. Normally I would just shrug it off and deal. However, I’ve gotta tell you that I’m upset. I KNOW it’s not his fault but I guess if I weren’t expecting it, if I weren’t conditioned to be endlessly disappointed by this man – IF HE COULD JUST FOLLOW THROUGH ON ONE G*DDAMNED THING ONE TIME I could deal.

I’m willing to bet any amount of money that he does not, in fact come. So I will show up at the wedding still looking UBER-hot but tragically, uber-single. What sucks is that when I RSVP’d us, the bride called me and said – “this isn’t the same Canadian that broke your heart, who’s death we were plotting for a good portion of 2004?” “yes it is but things are better, he’s changed blah blah blah” “well I’m skeptical but I’m glad you’re happy and I can’t wait to see you both.” So now I’ll have to listen to the bride say “I told you so.”*

Ya know, I should have known this would happen, the last wedding we went to together, he left me in the middle of the reception to go play poker with his buddies. I so I did what any normal woman would do….I spent the night with the Best Man at his suite at the Watergate.

I wonder what the military-base equivalent of that scenario would be?

On the one hand I feel like an IDIOT because I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall and not getting anywhere. On the other hand I didnt even ask him to come, he suggested it. I think I'm just mad at myself for getting excited about the weekend and thinking that it was ACTUALLY going to happen.

Anyway, folks, keep those matches handy for come tomorrow evening – if I am suddenly Red party-of-one…I’m going to start the Canadian Flag burning pile out on my balcony.

*ya - I'm listening to a classical music station on my computer...and the "Wedding March" just came on. I think I'm going to loose my lunch.

Ok – right now all I’ve got is randomness from this weekend:

Apparently I started Red Family WWIII. Parents are mad…Baby Sis is mad….Oy! Talked to Princess….she said Baby Sis wouldn’t would get over it, that she has no reason to be mad, and that the whole situation will blow over. So I feel a bit better about that.

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The Professor did indeed txt me on Friday night. The conversation went something like this:

Professor: Are you having fun on your date?

S: I’m having a great time – and I never said it was a date

Professor: Where are you at?

S: Biddys in Dupont – come out!

Professor: Call me when you’re ready to go home, I’ll pick you up

S: Thanks, but I can make it by myself. Feel free to come out though and have a drink!

Professor: Sorry, I don’t chase

S: That’s funny….neither do I!

And then this little exchange Sunday afternoon:

Professor: HI

S: Sup?

Professor: You were being a cock tease on Friday

S: Well, seeing as how I had no interest in your cock on Friday or any other day, I hardly see the point in teasing it

Professor: …[silence]….

I personally enjoyed that last reply. I actually think it shut him up! Woo Hoo!

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I received a fantastic gift from Barbie #1! A bottle of 1994 “Marilyn Merlot”!

HOW FUN IS THIS??

Did you know that Ms. Monroe was a natural redhead??

But that’s not the reason I adore her. I'd love her even if she were a natural blonde! Perhaps that’s the reason I have such a fondness for fire engine red lipstick!

I will never open this bottle of wine – or if I do…it’ll be a damn good reason, like my 50th birthday, or my first cosmetic operation (jk)

Thanks for all the input everyone! Don't worry, i will be posting a much more interesting "men are idiots part 13" entry later today.

I just wanted to let you know that I followed ya'lls advice and sent the following email last night.

Baby Sis:

I’m having trouble getting a hold of you by phone so I thought I’d try email.

First of all, I got the invitation to your baby shower and I am so so so sorry I won’t be able to be there! I will, of course, be there in spirit.

Second, I talked to Princess the other day and she told me about the girls you have selected to be part of your bridal party on your wedding day. I would be lying if I said I weren’t disappointed and really hurt by your decision to include SIL (Sister in Law) and BF and not Princess and myself. I am also very confused as these girls, while they are fabulous and I love them, are technically unrelated to you and Princess and I are and…well, we have always felt close to you and we thought you felt the same way. Apparently we were wrong. We were raised to believe that family is one of the most important things in life – which is why I suppose I am so baffled by your decisions.

I know you’re under a lot of pressure as a new mom and planning a wedding is stressful. I’m sure it’s always hard to tell people that love you that you have not included them in your special day – I know Princess had a hard time telling her friends that you and I were the bridesmaids.

You know that I will love and support you no matter what but I feel very confused and hurt by this and thought you should know.

Much Love, 

Update: To which Baby Sis Replied:

S:

Wow, I really don't even know what to resopnd with. I am extremely shocked that you would act like this. I wasn't aware that I had to explain to you that you wouldn't be in my wedding. I chose family, just becuase they aren't blood family doesn't mean they aren't family. I have 6 siblings I would have to include, not just you and Princess.

I am very disapionted by your email, and I really have nothing else to say.

Love, Baby SiS

Do you think this is Harsh?? I didn't mean to piss her off!!

I responded:

Baby Sis:

I’m sorry you’re disappointed by my email – I don’t think it was unfairly harsh. I was just confused by your decision and a little hurt and now that you have explained it to me I understand it a little bit better I suppose. As far as you being “shocked that I would act like this” – I’m not sure what you mean. I’m not mad or angry, or even upset with you. I just needed some clarification and I wanted to be honest with how I was feeling. I don’t think there is anything wrong with doing that.

I didn’t mean to upset you, Sis. I stated numerous times in my email that I love you and support you, and realize that you’re under a lot of pressure and that these things happen, as they did to Princess, I was just confused. That’s all.

I hope you’re not mad at me, I just needed to tell you how I felt.

Love, 

OY!

Baby Sis is twenty-five.

Baby Sis is pregnant.

Baby Sis is unmarried. 

In my family….this is NOT cool. Have I mentioned my family? They really need no introduction – just picture a ‘My Big, Fat Greek Wedding’ mob – only Irish! Which means they’re louder, have quicker tempers, and are usually drinking.

Back to Baby Sis. Thankfully, she happens to be currently living with her wonderful boyfriend (now fiancé, thanks to my father’s ability to put the fear of death and god into the men that attempt to date his children). This man (we shall call him “blue eyes”) is loved my our family and so the pregnancy scenario is not QUITE the crisis situation you would imagine.

However, they will NOT be married by the time our little bundle of Irish Joy arrives (much to my father’s horror and I have no doubt the Scarlett antecessors of old are turning summersaults in their respective crypts and graves) is because Baby Sis refuses to get married unless she can drink at the wedding (ya, you heard me right). Very responsible, Baby Sis, very responsible. Of course, maybe you should have tried responsible about FIVE MONTHS AGO AND USED A CONDOM! I should note that despite my personal opinion I have been her cheerleader and extremely supportive of the marriage and baby. But I digress - back to the wedding. Baby Sis called me last week (during the Michigan State game half-time actually because we were both watching…) to tell me they had set the date for next August. Lovely. And then we preceded to joke and she promised me she would not sick me in a full length, full skirt, velvet gown nightmare the likes of which we were forced to sport as Big Sis’ (“Princess”) bridesmaids a few years ago.

Then last night I get a call from Princess (who I usually avoid) to tell me that Baby Sis has chosen her wedding party.

“So are you on bachelorette duty or am i?” I asked half sarcastically. She paused and said ‘are you sitting down?” “ya” “neither” “huh?” “we, as in her big sisters, are NOT in the wedding party.” “what?" “she’s having the GROOMS two sisters, OUR sister-IN-LAW, and her best friend FROM HIGH SCHOOL …that’s it”

(cue redheaded temper) “EXCUSE ME??? Does Dad know?” “Uh-huh and he claims he’s not going to Baby Sis’ wedding. Sue Ellen (Dad’s wife) says it’s ridiculous and he is of course going and its her decision.”

Now I know that brides usually have to deal with hurting at least a few feelings and that we all have to be understanding of their decisions. And lord knows I'm already in my share of nuptual celebrations, hardly my favorite pasttime but...COME ON! There is not ONE blood relative slated to be next to her on her wedding day. And before you ask, we have not been fighting, had a falling out or ANYTHING like that.

So here is where I need your advice, kids. Do I tell her that we’re very hurt? Should I do as Princess suggests and just let it go and be glad we don’t have to do sh*t for the wedding and sit in the back of the church and make sarcastic comments the entire time? Do you agree with me this this is F*CKED UP???

Where’s Ann Landers when you need her? 

Frankly,

P.S. While we're on the subject of outrage - Jeffery as the winner on Project Runway!? WTF?

Ok - it's about time I had to do it. I have to come clean. There is a character that, while a leading man in a former blogging life, has yet to make a guest appearance in this daily drama we affectionately know as "TSL." In the Scarlett E-True Hollywood Story (as yet unmade) a large portion of the subject of romance between 2003-2006 (and beyond?) will be taken up by a boy we will call 'The Canadian' (because...well...he is..in FACT Canadian...yes, I know I'm just THAT creative). So when the E! Channel finally catches on they will tell how I met this gorgeous, 6'7, brillant, funny, JFK Junior look-a-like in 2003 while shopping in Hecht's just before Christmas.

I will smile as I recall that he asked to take me out to lunch right there and then drinks that night. And when he left the table to go to the restroom I called MK (my then roommate) and said "this is it. I'm having drinks with the man I'm going to marry." (What did I know? I was 23!)

They will show scenes of us blissfully happy for about 6 months, they will show scenes of us beginning to fight after month 4 because he wouldn't introduce me to his friends, because he was emotionally unavailable, because I did not feel like I was a part of his life. After several interviews of MK and Barbie #1, 2 & 3, saying how much he hurt me, they will pan to shots of me crying when he told me he was leaving for a year (his law firm was transfering him to Switzerland). They will then mention that he was only gone 3 months, during which time we talked, chatted and emailed almost every day and he apologized, flirted, promised everything would be different, and so I welcomed him back with open arms (and a lovely black lace ensemble from Victorias Secret).

And then they will interview me and say "tell us how you felt when The Canadian told you he had decided to go back to Canada for law school." And a tear will creep down my cheek, and I will try not to smudge my mascara as I wipe it away.  And I will say "it hurt but I tried to be supportive and make the best of the time we had". And they will ask "And what happened when you found out that he had cheated on you with multiple women over the course of your year and half relationship?" And another tear will creep down as they cut to Barbie #1 who will tell them about the night I called her crying.

Oh - but how quickly the Canadian came a'runnin when I started dating someone else! (Again, wanting what you can't have?) And then they will cut to a commercial break as the viewers are wondering - how in the world did they get back together? Well, we haven't established that they have, yet. But before you start burning Canadian flags on my behalf, o darling defenders of Red, we started talking again this Christmas on a conditional basis. The conditions being the I WOULD meet his friends that I WOULD be a part of his life. That he WOULD NOT stand me up. That he WOULD remember, celebrate and purchase gifts for my birthday. And any remnents, traces, or residue traces of lying, emotional witholding or dishonesty of any kind and it was over.

So far, he has been true to his word I have since met friends, he has been more emotionally expressive and available. And so far so good. However we are not officially 'together'. I didn't want a long distance relationship because that just opens the door to lying, cheating, etc. It's an ambiguous scenario at best.  So here we are. When we're together, we're together and when we're not...well...i obviously haven't closed myself off to other options. But he is still a part of my life and before I start venting and bitching and stressing about the situation on here, which I have needed to do (get ready, sports fans), i didn't believe I could do it properly if ya'll weren't entirely up to speed. So now you know. And there it is.

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On a lighter note - this weekend's goolish festivities will include me sporting punk rocker garb (sanz fairy wings...HATE the fairy wings. Who ever heard of a punk rock fairy anyway?). Should be fun!! 

As mentioned in part one of Scarlett's weekend Saga – Friday night I attended (after much cajoling*) the DC blogger happy hour. Where there was much drinking, laughing and later on dancing. After we migrated away from the Big Hunt, Hey Pretty, Velvet and I made our way to an establishement a few doors down that we were told was more ‘low key’ and so visions of tables and pitchers of beer danced in our heads. Velvet exchanged her cookies for our cover at the door (why does that sound dirty?), and we made our way into, well…i'm pretty sure pitchers of beer weren't on the menu. Shots of Whiskey, however, were.

So after my first shot of Whiskey ever(her idea, not mine), HP and I tried to keep up with the dancing queens (i.e. KassyK and Circle V). I’m afraid we lost Velvet sometime between Vogue and Jessie’s Girl but we said farewell to all my new favorite people shortly after.

After that the details of the evening start to get a bit hazy.

I remember being in an Irish bar in Chinatown, flirting with the singer so that he’d play the songs we wanted him to. I remember getting hit on by a guy who was in town for the green convention. He was a snowboarding, vegetarian, tree hugging, northface fleece-clad, only used recycled paper type of guy (who happened to look like eric bana). But I had to tell him, sorry buddy, I’m more of the steak eating, leather wearing, more preservatives, bring on the pesticides kind of woman….so I don’t think this is going to work.

By the end of the night, HP and I were closing down a bar in Capitol Hill, everyone else had called it a night and we were still gabbin away. Guys hovered, bought us drinks, lit our cigaretts but we just said ‘thanks’ and kept right on talking. Isn’t it nice when the company you’re with is more riveting and worth while than any guy trying to pick you up and so you’re so much less receptive to it?

The verdict? HP is smart, pretty, brutally honest, and wildly funny all wrapped up into a compact little package with an attitude to match.

Hello cliché….I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Frankly,

*I-66’s word