All the cool girls were doing it.....and so i have let yet ANOTHER online quiz define my existance. Think they got it right?? Think there's a 'loverboy" in my future??

The Peach Random Gentle Love Master (RGLM) Playful, kind, and well-loved, you are The Peach. For such a warm-hearted, generous person, you're surprisingly experienced in both love and sex. We credit your spontaneous side; you tend to live in the moment, and you don't get bogged down by inhibitions like most women your age. If you see something wonderful, you confidently embrace it. You are a fun flirt and an instant sweetheart, but our guess is you're becoming more selective about long-term love. It's getting tougher for you to become permanently attached; and a guy who's in a different place emotionally might misunderstand your early enthusiasm. You can wreck someone simply by enjoying him. Your ideal mate is adventurous and giving, like you. But not overly intense. Your exact female opposite: The Nymph Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer Always avoid: The False Messiah (DBLM) Consider: The Loverboy (RGLM), The Playboy (RGSM), The Boy Next Door (RGLD)

So New York was amazing – as always. I went for work – but made time for friends, fun and food….way too much food. I always seem to eat too much when I’m in New York. Ugh. The pizza, the Italian food, the cocktails, the cheesecake. I’m in desperate need of calorie detox.

I don’t know what it is about New York – or big cities in general that I just fall in love with. DC doesn’t seem to qualify in this category. Perhaps it’s the lack of skyscrapers, the absence of buildings that span vertically beyond the DC regulation fifteen floors inspiring awe and neck strain as one attempts to take in their sheer magnitude and height. After all, size does matter. Maybe it’s the lack of universal grime, garbage and utter filth that coats the subways, streets and sidewalks of the Big Apple. Or it could be the West Side Story-esque urban jungle comprised of vines of fireescapes, ladders climbing the walls of buildings and apartments; the sensory overload of Time’s Square; or the allure of all things cultured and fashionable.

DC seems to pale in comparison. Perhaps it’s the more sedate, cerebral, almost southern propriety the city seems to exude (Saturday night at the corner of Connecticut and M St. not withstanding). It truly is a small town in big city clothing. And, to tell you the truth, I much prefer it. I prefer the monuments to skyscrapers, testiments to American heros past; I prefer the halls of congress to the hustle and bustle of Penn Station; and I prefer my own little Dupont Circle to the sprawl of Central Park.

The other comparison I found myself making  while in New York was the men. The streets of New York are crawling with tall, dark and handsome, gorgeous men! It was like being in a Jimmy Choo store and not knowing which strappy sandal to try on first! Utterly overwhelming as they passed by with their perfect suits – oozing personas of success…yummy. Then a gust of wind (damn its cold up there btw) brought me back to reality as I realized: ‘Ah yes. If Sex & the City has taught us anything, it’s that they’d most likely turn out to be workaholic, commitment phobic, sexual deviants.'

Then I thought: why is this so different from DC guys? DC men wear nice suits, they are also driven and ambitious and conveniently enough are also workaholic, commitment phobes. So basically I’m screwed in whichever metropolitan area I choose to live in. Yea for me!

However, the situation is not QUITE as hopeless as it seems. One New Yorker took me out to a beautiful Italian restaurant on Tuesday night and to a cute little bar afterwards - had so much fun! It was a wonderful trip, even if I am glad to be back in DC where I belong.

Frankly,

My sincere apologies for ducking out on you the past week. The only defense I can offer is that I left you in the very humorous, capable, if somewhat occasionally misguided hands of Ha Ha Sound. And yes, sweetie, the nude photos are in the mail – I can’t IMAGINE why you haven’t received them as of yet!

As I have been slightly silent on the subject of the Russian, I appreciate all of the inquiries as to the situation. However, there really IS no situation. We don’t speak and as far as I can tell, he has no interest in remaining friends or even existing as common and indifferent acquaintances. Of course the fact that I went a tad Glenn Close on his ass after finding out about his new ‘love of the minute’ might have something to do with it. No, silly readers, I did not fly to New Mexico and boil the head of some innocent furry creature on his stove - but I MIGHT have commented on his unbelievable ability to fall in and out of love faster than a speeding Hallmark card; I may have SLIGHTLY raved about his complete and utter inability to remain single for even then length of a Seinfeld episode; and I could have POSSIBLY mentioned the fact that his treatment of me throughout this breakup process has been nothing but selfish, shitty, and sadistic. Not my finest moment, I'll admit. Ya – so I can’t IMAGINE why he hasn’t called!

So interaction aside – I’m doing very well. The last time I cried was approximately two weeks ago – the day after hearing about the new girl. Yes, I bet you were wondering – it was, in fact, me. I was the pitiful looking, broken hearted girl on the metro whose tears were tracing little lines of black mascara down her cheeks while she was thinking about the fact that she was no where near as special as she had come to believe over the past year. And I’m sure the acoustic version of Listen to Your Heart by DHT didn’t help the emotional containment situation. But the upside is – that was the last time. And I really can’t imagine – barring any unforeseen events or interactions – that any spontaneous outbursts of emotion would erupt anytime soon. At least not on account of the Russian.

So there’s the update for now. In unrelated and more exciting news, this DC gal will be hauling her fabulous self up to NYC for a few days and I’m definitely looking forward to it! So Ha Ha, if you happen to see a cute redhead roaming around Times Square looking slightly lost – do me a favor and point her in the right direction!

Frankly,

In Honor of President's Day (and I know its beautiful outside and no one's working and I plan on getting out of the house in about 20 minutes and no one's reading blogs today...): I would like to place a particular red (spot) light on our nation's former fiery headed leaders and, I might add, some of the most influencial presidents in history:

1. George Washington: Did you know the father of our country was a redhead!?

2. Thomas Jefferson: (1743-1826) The Third President of the United States, Jefferson was the man in the White House from 1801-1809. Besides his authorship of the Declaration of Independence, his main claim to fame while in office was the Lousiana Purchase, which means that we can all enjoy Mardi Gras and Cajun Music now. Yea - Tom! A notorious ladies man, he liked to spend the occasional evening with his slave girls, and at the last count had been accused of fathering a score or more illegitimate children. The result is being still debated in the US Courts.

3. Andrew Jackson: (1767-1845) Born in South Carolina, the 7th President of the United States, nicknamed 'Old Hickory' was the first 'Frontier President' famous for his decisive actions and military cunning.

4. Martin Van Buren: The 8th President of the United States and the first leader of the Big Country to have actually been born there. While he spoke Dutch at home, he could do what he liked behind closed doors, then built the Erie canal. Oooh, these Redheads.

5. Ulysses S. Grant: (1822-1885) Born in Ohio, the 18th President of the United States, perhaps the most famous generals of the American Civil War, where he became a commander of the Union armies. Famed for his heavy drinking, mostly whisky. 

6. Calvin Coolidge: (1872 - 1933) Born Vermont, the 30th President was reportedly a man of few words. Coolidge was determined to preserve the morals and discipline of the USA during times of economic and material prosperity.

7. Dwight Eisenhower: (1890-1969) Born Texas, Eisenhower was the 34th President of the United States. A World War II hero, he returned from Europe to become the Republican Presidential nominee. He Won the 1951 election by a landslide, and a second term five years later and is considered one of the most charismatic Presidents of modern times.

It hasn’t quite hit me yet. I haven’t accepted the truth. I’m going to hide in my office and maybe it won’t find me. If I just keep drinking coffee and eat my greasy breakfast sandwich, the hangover won’t come. And the aspirin I took last night before bed, and this morning is definitely going to counteract the side effects of the combination of 4 glasses of wine, 5 glasses of champagne, and two redheaded slut shots. Ya. De-nile…not just a river in Egypt.

So now you have some vague concept of how I spent my Valentine’s Day – at least the last few hours of it. However, those hours of were necessitated by the events of the day which included a hit and run accident, a porn store outing and appearing half naked on the Channel 4 evening news – I shit you not. There was also an incident involving a gypsy, a Voo Doo Doll and a lack of needles – but that’s a story for another day.

So if you’re wondering why I missed the opportunity yesterday, to rant, rave, critique, sneer, wax philosophical and cynical about the meanings and insincerity of ‘love’, ‘relationships’ ‘dating’ verbally assult little cherubic angles and stomp little candy hearts with endearing sayings until they are nothing more than literary dust under my metaphoric Pretty Woman boots – that’s why. The subject matter is frankly, a newly reborn single girl’s wet sarcastic dream!

However, I will make the following observation (it’s profound, and shocking – so wait for it!)….MEN ARE IDIOTS. Seriously. Can I tell you how many men I talked to last night who bitched about Valentine’s Day and how ‘they don’t need some special day to show they care’, the ‘meaningless consumer driven holiday’ and the ‘evils of hallmark’? Well let me fill you in on a little secret men  - gather round. Don’t be shy. (Canadian, why don’t you come over here and sit by me, just to make sure you catch everything I’m saying, ‘wink’). You’re always whining and moaning about how to ‘make a woman happy’? Trying to figure out ‘what women want’? It’s simple  - I have even included pictures so you can understand the big words: 

It’s truly that simple. So instead of bitching and moaning and whining like little girls, grow a pair, man up and ultimately, get laid. No one looses in this situation! And everyone shows up for work on Friday with a smile, feeling sexually satisfied, less angsty and trying to avoid their hangovers (Well, at least the last bit applies to me!). Speaking of avoiding, I do see my headache starting to peer at me from around the corner, so I’m going to go hide in the conference room.

A very happy, if somewhat belated, Valentine’s Day to you all.

Frankly,