Welcome
Welcome to my world: A world in which I am still finding my way and my voice; where the language is laced with dry humor; where stilettos and football games go together like peas and carrots; where happy hour starts long before 5; where I make mistakes, get angry and laugh my ass off; where I will never love anything as much as I love my cat; where no one knows your name and you like it that way; where comments are welcome and where strong women who fight for what they believe in are always adored.
Frankly,
On My Mind
Six Months of Short Sentences
Letter from my Father [Part 2]
My Greatest Fans
Brick Walls & Picket Lines
Kindred Spirits (Part One)
Copyright
© All content, site design, txt, graphics, bitching, moaning, ranting and general fabulousness are Copyright 2006 - Armageddon by The Scarlett Letters. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any use of materials or dialogue on this website including reproduction, modification, distribution or republication without first asking nicely is strictly prohibited.
Topics of Conversation
Sealed Envelopes
Quicksearch
Syndicate This Blog
Statistics
Friday, February 27, 2009
Fat, Fat Tuesday
“I’m fat,” said Big Man on Campus (ex college boyfriend, still very good friend). “I’m loosing my girlish figure.”
“So am I,” I replied. “I’ve been working out like a fiend, cardio, weights, yoga but it does nothing to curb my daily cupcake/cookie craving at 3:00 p.m.”
“I’m lazy. I haven’t been working out, I haven’t been eating well, I’ve been drinking a lot. It’s the tri-fecta of lazy and fat.”
“Wow. Yep – that’d do it. Well, if it helps, I still love you!”
“I feel unattractive with my shirt off. Could you please pass the tater tots?”
"I'm not quite to that point yet. I still feel attractive with my shirt off. Mostly because my boobs are fabulous and I wear sexy lingerie."
(Waitress walks by) “Ya’ll doing ok?”
“I’ll take another Miller Lite draft and he’ll have another rum & coke”
“And an order of the Spinach Dip”
(Waitress walks away)
“I hate men”
“What's the reason this week?”
“Well – I had an AMAZING date with Irish Guy on Friday. At first, I thought ‘oh no! I’m being too much myself – being a little too honest, sarcastic, etc.’ but then he gave me the most amazing kiss ever!! Truth be told, we made out for a good 30 minutes – unbelievable! So I took that as a good sign.”
“Making out with someone for 30 minutes is never a BAD sign”
“I mean, you wouldn’t make out for 30 minutes with someone you weren’t attracted to, right?”
“Depends on how drunk I was”
(Scarlett starts counting the number of drinks ordered in her head…)
“I’m just kidding! I’m sure he was attracted to you. So what’s the problem?”
“Well, I didn’t hear from him all weekend and then I get a little email on Monday saying ‘how was the rest of your weekend? I went to an Oscar party last night but left early because I didn’t want to be a vegetable today’ so I replied, ‘A vegetable? Do you turn into a pumpkin at midnight?’ (ha. ha. cute, no?) and then I gave him a few sentences about my weekend, commented on the cold weather – asked him what he was up to this week and…NOTHING. No reply email. No “I had a great time and would love to see you again.” NOTHING. WTF?"
“Well, give him one more day to respond and if nothing, fuck him”
“It’s still frustrating.”
“I’m interested in a girl.”
“Really? Do tell.”
“She’s married”
That spawned a whole different conversation. As we walked out BMOC, grabs a few Mardi Gras beads that decorated the bar Tuesday evening and placed them over my head.
"You have to show me your boobs now."
"You've alerady seen my boobs."
"True. Well then consider those beads payment for services rendered."
"So noted."
